The Avengers

 

Continuing the epic big-screen adventures started in Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers is the superhero team up of a lifetime. When an unexpected enemy emerges that threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury, Director of the international peacekeeping agency known as SHIELD, finds himself in need of a team to pull the world back from the brink of disaster. Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins.

Never have I seen a movie with expectations like this. I mean you are talking about four different mega-high profile movies with four different known comic book characters. And there was a sequel to one of them in there too. This movie has legitamitely been hyped for four years since the scene at the end of the credits in Iron Man. You are talking about juggling all these characters (and the egos of the actors attached to the parts). You are talking about a pipe dream of a movie for fanboys since they picked up any comic book featuring this. You can say what about X-Men, but that was different. They were established and developed within that one movie. These were all established seperately and all revolved around completely different ideals. One was all about ego. One was all about doing the right thing. One was all about mythology. One was all about controlling anger. How in the hell would they be able to put all this together and do it justice? I kept telling myself to just enjoy a popcorn movie short on substance and cool to the eye and I would have been satisfied. I was wrong. They managed to pull off what I thought would be impossible, met the sky high expectations and quite honestly - blew them out of the water. The story was amazing. The action was awesome. The laughs were HUGE . . . . and it wasn't just Downey Jr's one liners. The script was written in such a way that everyone got to be in on it. There were two scenes with the Hulk where the audience was hysterical. The balance between everyone was amazing. They did every single one of them justice. Even bit players like Agent Colson was made to matter to every viewer. I can't remember the last time that I was impressed by a movie. Actually - I can. It was the Dark Knight. This movie didn't have as much broad spectrum substance as that and it's the only thing that keeps me from saying that this is the best comic book movie ever made. But I have no problem saying that this is the second best comic book movie of all time and easily the greatest achievement of hype matching I've ever seen.

Would I recommend it? Duh. I could have kept gushing for pages and basically just forced myself to stop. This movie was excellence across the board and easily the best movie of the year so far.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

 

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is supposed to be India's answer for the UK's most elegant retirees - a place where they can spend their golden years surrounded by lush amenities - that is, until seven retirees who are in need of a transformation find themselves on the front steps of the not-quite-ready resort. Thus begins a comic, romantic and poignant adventure in a land full of unexpected pleasures, brought to life by some of the most honored and accomplished screen actors of our time.

I'm stunned by how much I totally loved this movie.  I figured it was just one of those artsy movies with a bunch of excellent senior citizen actors and actresses that the critics rave about just because.  But it wasn't.  It was a perfectly told movie about a collection of very different characters finding their way regardless of age and circumstances.  The characters were all equally and excellently developed that you care about each one of their stories.  You find yourself rooting for all of them and being unable to wait to see how it all plays out.

I would absolutely recommend that everyone check this movie out.  It is very well done across the board and easily one of the best movies that has come out this year. 

The Cabin In The Woods

 

Five friends go to a remote cabin in the woods. Bad things happen. If you think you know this story, think again. From fan favorites Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard comes "The Cabin in the Woods," a mind blowing horror film that turns the genre inside out.

The critics were huge fans of this movie and I read a lot of positive stuff about it. Then I got nothing but horrible reviews from anyone I know that saw it. I feel like the result of those two things (along with watching Lockdown just before this) made me see this as middle of the road I guess. I get the critics choosing to love it because of all the social commentary that is featured throughout what is ultimately a total gorefest and more likely because of them needing to love Joss Whedon since he is attached to The Avengers. I also get people thinking that this is total garbage because - well it was. It tried to be overly smart and that was eventualy it's undoing because there was no way that it would pan out to the buildup that they were doing throughout. The ending just became a crazy fifteen minutes crammed with over the topness across the board. For once, I'm glad I didn't see a movie when it first came out because I think all the bad word of mouth (again - as well as suffering through Lockdown just before) made this tolerable for me even though it was pretty much poop.

I wouldn't recommend anyone checking this out. Again - it is ultimately garbage. The satirical stuff was good but about halfway through ran out of gas and just kind of spiralled in to garbage.

Snow White & The Huntsman

 

In the action-adventure Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart (Twilight) plays the only person in the land fairer than the evil queen (Charlize Theron) who is out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman threatening her reign has been training in the art of war with a huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) who was dispatched to kill her.

This was a pretty bad ass version of Snow White. Not cute and fluffy at all. Honestly, it reminded me alot of the Robin Hood remake with Russel Crowe from a couple of years ago. It was an entertaining movie with lots of battle type action but they kept the gore out of it to get their PG-13 rating. Charlize Theron was very creepy as the Evil Queen. The dwarves were cool once they got worked in. Chris Hemsworth was basically Thor without the hammer. And all of them combined together to make the movie watchable even though no acting ability whatsoever Bella . . . . um, I mean Kristen Stewart was playing the lead.

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out. It's not a must see, but it is an enjoyable and more adult version of the classic story for action fans. This is NOT a kids Snow White.

What To Expect When You're Expecting

 

Over the moon about starting a family, TV fitness guru Jules and dance show star Evan find that their high-octane celebrity lives don't stand a chance against the surprise demands of pregnancy. Baby-crazy author and advocate Wendy gets a taste of her own militant mommy advice when pregnancy hormones ravage her body; while Wendy's husband, Gary, struggles not to be outdone by his competitive alpha-Dad, who's expecting twins with his much younger trophy wife, Skyler. Photographer Holly is prepared to travel the globe to adopt a child, but her husband Alex isn't so sure, and tries to quiet his panic by attending a "dudes" support group, where new fathers get to tell it like it really is. And rival food truck chefs Rosie and Marco's surprise hook-up results in an unexpected quandary: what to do when your first child comes before your first date?

This movie is essentially a pregnancy version of Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. It's got a ton of actors all coupled off and dealing with their pregnancies and oncoming children. They are all somewhat connected and take us through the many different emotions that come along with this life changing event. There were plenty of laughs (mostly from the guys walking in the park with the kids) and the overall movie was cute/watchable.

I would somewhat recommend this movie to the general movie goer. Anyone who liked movies like Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve will like this one and pretty much any female will like this movie as well.

The Five-Year Engagement

 

Beginning where most romantic comedies end, The Five-Year Engagement looks at what happens when an engaged couple, Jason Segel and Emily Blunt, keeps getting tripped up on the long walk down the aisle.

 

I really enjoy both Jason Segel and Emily Blunt. Their chemistry in this movie didn't seem forced whatsoever. Their comedy providing best friends were also awesome. I love them both from their work on Community and Parks & Recreation. The laughs were great. The story was well told and entertaining. There is a definite hook that makes you care about both characters and understand what they are going through. The only problem with this movie - and it's unfortunately a big on - is that the movie is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long and you absolutely feel it. If they could have cut this down to about 90 minutes or paced it a little better, I probably would have loved it.

 

I would still recommend people checking this out. Like I said, I really enjoyed the story and characters but I felt like I was sitting there for the full five years. Although, as I say that - does that mean that they did a really god job of making you take the journey with the two characters? Mmmmmmm . . . . . interesting.

Safe

 

A second-rate cage fighter on the mixed martial arts circuit, Luke Wright lives a numbing life of routine beatings and chump change... until the day he blows a rigged fight. Wanting to make an example of him, the Russian Mafia murders his family and banishes him from his life forever, leaving Luke to wander the streets of New York destitute, haunted by guilt, and tormented by the knowledge that he will always be watched, and anyone he develops a relationship with will also be killed. But when he witnesses a frightened twelve-year-old Chinese girl, Mei, being pursued by the same gangsters who killed his wife, Luke impulsively jumps to action... and straight into the heart of a deadly high-stakes war. Mei, he discovers, is no ordinary girl, but an orphaned math prodigy forced to work for the Triads as a "counter." He discovers she holds in her memory a priceless numerical code that the Triads, the Russian mob and a corrupt faction of the NYPD will kill for. Realizing he's the only person Mei can trust, Luke tears a swath through the city's brutal underworld to save an innocent girl's life... and perhaps even redeem his own.

That above stuff is basically just bla-bla-bla-bla. This movie is literally Transporter 7. It's just like all the other Jason Statham movies. Must protect kid. Fighting the cops and the mob, all of whom are overacted beyond the limits of overacting. Kicks and punches alot. There are car chases. I'm pretty much wasting my time saying anything more about this.

Again - it's a Jason Statham movie. If you like the others - you'll probably like this one. If you don't - why would you bother with this one?

Pirahna 3DD

 

After the terror unleashed on Lake Victoria in Piranha 3D, the pre-historic school of blood thirsty piranhas are back. This time, no one is safe from the flesh eating fish as they sink their razor sharp teeth into the visitors of summer's best attraction, The Big Wet Water Park.

Do I even have to bother reviewing this? It's crap. Crap was expected. Crap is what was given. Correction, steaming crap is what was given because they even brought the chaos out of the water and gave me one of the most disgusting images that I will never be able to erase from my memory.

No - I would not recommend this to anyone. Ever. Save yourselves. Plus - hopefully there will not be Piranha 3DDD if nobody watches this one.